I recently wrote an article for Japanese women. “Why didn’t he tell her honestly?”
This article got a great response from Japanese women. I think they may have had an idea of what I was talking about.
As a Japanese matchmaker, I help single Australian men and single Japanese women meet each other. This article will be useful for anyone who wants to build a good relationship with their loved one as well as with a Japanese woman.
So I have translated this article into English. I am curious to know what you, as a man, think about it.
Why didn’t you tell her honestly ?
Let’s say that all interpersonal relationships, including lovers, couples, friends, and family, are called relationships.
What do you think it takes to have a good and healthy relationship?
”Communication”
This is probably what most people come up with. But in that communication, what many people tend to forget is
“Safe space”
“Tell me anything” doesn’t mean you can tell anything
One of my girlfriends was complaining that her Australian partner didn’t talk to her about anything important.
He is a very cheerful husband and likes to talk. I wondered why.
Then one day, I visited their place. As I watched their interaction, I thought, “That’s understandable.”
She asked her husband something during dinner. I don’t remember what she asked him, but I still remember the look on her face at that moment.
She was staring at him with a very scary look on her face.
She was the one who told him to tell her everything, but she was the one who made sure he couldn’t say anything.
I can see your face as you nodded, “Yes! Yes!” 🙂
But it’s not funny.
It is something that we all do to varying degrees among friends, colleagues, family members, lovers, and couples.
I talk to my clients almost every day, either by video or phone. I call it consultation.
Sometimes I give them my opinions before they start talking, sometimes I force my opinion on them, and sometimes I denai their opinion. OMG. What a terrible matchmaking adviser I am…
A safe space essential for a couple’s communication
One of the most common lines among couples is, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You know, “Why didn’t you tell me?
When we say this, we have to know that we didn’t give her / him / them a safe space to tell honestly.
“Why did you lie to me? It’s the same thing.
I said this to Japanese women in my Japanese blog:
“Men will talk to you if you give them a safe space where it’s safe to be honest with you. Because they want to be listened to, too, and they want to be honest with you too.“
Am I correct?
Happy relationship could take time but last long
I and my husband early marriage was quite bad. The main reason was I was not good at communicating with my husband and I was a terrible listener, just like one of my girlfriends.
I didn’t give him a safe space to talk about anything and everything. I hope this article won’t scare you to meet Japanese women. 🙂
Nowadays, we are often told by OzMatch male members and female members “ I want to be a couple like Misao-san and Sean-san”. We are very happy to be told it but it took several years to build this relationship.
But once you build it, it will last longer than you imagine.
I hope you will meet someone at OzMatch and build a long lasting happy relationship with a Japanese partner.
We are an Australian and Japanese matchmaking agency based in Australia. If you would like to meet Japanese women and start building a happy and healthy relationship, OzMatch might be able to help your journey.